Easy Does It

from the factory floor

BARCLAYS PREMIER LEAGUE

Ashburton Grove

Referee:  Phil Dowd

Arsenal 3-0 Aston Villa  24 March 2012

Gibbs [16]

Walcott [25]

Arteta [90]

Saturday morning arrived and I packed up for my first trip to the pub in a while. Huge flag. Check. Bottle of Woodford. Check. [There is a certain symmetry that on the day I honor this bet, we play Aston Villa]. Regina joined me this time for a rare foray into the sweary, smelly nether regions of the Factory. I introduced her to Liam before heading downstairs to hang the new NY Gooners flag. He apologized to her. It’s what most people do when they find out she’s my girlfriend.

The game barely got going enough to realize Djourou was in for Koscielny before Heskey clocked the former in the face with a deliberate elbow. Predictably TJ and I disagreed. Also predictably, as with most Phil Dowd officiated affairs, I’m right [Then again, he’s got all that podcasting nous and I just make meticulous drawings of joyous Arsenal moments to dull the pain of the recent barren spell]. 


Back on topic, you can’t say it’s part of the jumping motion when the elbow is swinging downwards toward Djourou. Also have a look at his other arm. It goes up and stays up. Blatant elbow. Should have at least been yellow. Unpunished, Heskey spent the next 15 minutes racking up fouls and gave credence to the commentators’ remark that McLeish made a tactical adjustment based on Koscielny’s absence. Here’s your adjustment: rough up Djourou.

We got a foothold and started storming the Villa goal.  First there was a piece of skill from Van Persie [as Michael said you don’t see that very often] with a  flick to Theo, whose shot was saved. As we peppered the visitors’ penalty area with action I realized that something strange has happened. Whenever Arsenal are about to take a corner kick now, I experience the most curious sensation. Hope. Not the stupid, impossible, desperate Tottenham kind. The realistic, we might really get something here kind. The kind with Vermaelen on the end of it thumping a header past Tim Howard. No such luck on this occasion but the opening goal wouldn’t be long in coming.

When it did arrive it came from the Arsenal player on the pitch least favored to score, not counting Szczesny. To be fair, Gibbs was looking lively already, and dare I say it, he and Gervinho look like they might be striking up something of a partnership. The two combined early on and their second effort produced the fullback’s first Premiership goal. He must have surprised Villa as well because the three defenders surrounding Gibbs parted like the Red Sea allowing him to power a low shot underneath Given.

For the next ten minutes we traded free kicks and corners until Villa hit again on the break. This time we seemed to learn from Albrighton’s early foray, with his run tracked by Gervinho this time. I was in the middle of praising that effort when the Villa winger shoved down the Ivorian, which is stupid really when you think about it because he’s so top-heavy it should only take a nudge. Then he kicked the ball at Gervinho on the ground. Anyway, the Captain’s hair was blown forward by the force of me calling Albrighton a hook-nosed-cunt for the latter offense. Ed called it the reverse hairdryer. Reverse in two senses. Air direction and wet hair afterwards. Kind of spit all over him. Sorry Captain.

While that was going on, Song recovered the ball after a Szczesny free kick hoof, and showed him how it’s done with a pitching wedge perfect chip into Theo. The guy should be sponsored by Ping. Improving on the same move from Vermaelen earlier, Theo cushioned the ball perfectly into his stride and stroked a sidefoot finish into the near post with his fancy bright new shoes. It was a truly well-taken goal that led to the question, when was the last time two Englishmen scored for Arsenal? Gooninho reckoned it to be at least ten years via Twitter. Turns out it was fifteen. We closed the half by pressing for a third that didn’t come. We went into the break two up and a clean sheet in the making.

In the second half the fizz had gone from the game and the Arsenal went on a bit of a stroll, trying to possess Villa to death. For their part the visitors came out with renewed vigor and started putting in the tackles, adding two more bookings to the one they received in the first period. One such tackle should have resulted in a penalty and could have reduced them to ten men, with Ireland already on a yellow. He lunged in on Chamberlain who just made a long dribbly, oxy run and took him down in the area. Replays suggested he got the merest of touches on the ball before AOC’s legs.

Let’s be clear, getting the ball isn’t enough if it isn’t knocked sufficiently far away from the player getting scythed down. Phil Dowd of course saw nothing wrong with it. Were it not for the 2-0 score I’d have been livid. The thing that irks me so much is that we see penalties given all the time when a player [say Bale or Rooney] legs it towards the advancing keeper/defender, just gets there first and pokes the ball away from goal and usually over the end line, then sticks out his leg to guarantee contact and get the pen. There’s no way he could get on the end of the ball after their intentionally heavy touch, but still it’s a spot kick. 

Whereas this was a case of Ireland barely touching the ball, not even hard enough to knock out of Chamberlain’s reach, and then takes out his legs and nothing is given at all. It’s called a fair tackle because he got the ball first with a touch so slight that it doesn’t even alter the path of the ball. Should have been a penalty and amazingly it would have been the fourth one versus Villa in three matches. Instead our total of league penalties at home remained at zero.

As the game wound down, Villa continued to prove their manager is McLeish by getting heavy fouls in across the pitch, and one such carnivorous tackle resulted in a free kick around 25 yards out on the left side of the arc, favoring a right footed shooter. Up stepped Arteta and knuckled it straight into the top corner. Wenger said it was down to his tiny feet, but he hit it like it was with Hellboy’s right hand of doom. Have that in your hole you clogging bastards. The goal gave the final score an appropriate gloss and resuscitated the mood that had honestly gone a little quiet in the second half.

So for once, a nice straightforward win and we managed to capitalize on our capitol rivals’ capitulations on the weekend. With the draw between the two London clubs earlier in the day, this result meant we were three points clear of the scum, completing a 13 point turnaround to take third. It was another game without a goal from RVP [that makes two in a row, the horror!] and as if to underline that point, Gibbs became our 18^th goal scorer this season, giving Arsenal the most different scorers in the League this year. 

The win also made seven on the trot, a fact that Regina pointed out to Ed. This might have raised a few eyebrows, especially as many were asking me what the price was for her attendance on the day. Earlier she was noting her affection for Rosicky and relief that he’s back to his 2007-08 level. It’s no coincidence his form is a common denominator in our two l ongest winning streaks since the Invincibles.  Let’s hope that continues a while longer. With visits from City and Chelsea we’ll need every point we can take to hold onto third place. 


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