from the factory floor
Ashburton Grove
Referee: Andre
Marriner
Arsenal 7-1
Blackburn Rovers 4 February 2012
Van Persie [2,
38, 62] Pederson
[31]
Oxlade-Chamberlain
[40, 54]
Arteta [51]
Henry [90]
I must apologize for the tardiness of this
post. A polar bear fell on me.
Speaking of tardy, I got to the Factory in
the third minute and joined Carissa on the main level with Liam behind the bar.
Unlike my last late arrival, the Arsenal were not so gracious and scored about
90 seconds before. That lack of
hospitality from the home side would become a trend on the day. No need to ask
who scored though. Our captain does like his goals versus Blackburn. Ever since
his first season in 2004-05 when Van Persie emerged in the FA Cup semi-final, he’s
had a thing for scoring against the Blackeyes.
The question that also just about didn’t
need asking was who set it up. It seems the thing you have to do with Theo is
speak authoritatively about how he doesn’t get THAT many assists and he fucks
around and busts a triple. Walcott, gotta say it was a good day. My opening
volley was that at kickoff Song had more assists than Theo on the season, with
Van Persie and Gervinho level. If I have
to make ridiculous bets and wear egg on my face with this kind of trivia to
drag this Arsenal side over the line then so be it.
Ed arrived and Koscielny made his only mistake of the afternoon, getting into a tussle with Modeste and giving up a very presentable free kick a few yards above the D. We thought the call and spot for the kick looked generous, but both turned out to be correct. It was a quality hit from Pederson; Szczesny impressively got a hand to it, but it still went in and we were level just as TJ arrived.
Other than that, Koscielny was beasting
out. He just loves to defend. What are you gonna do today Larry? Defend. Bowl
of cereal? Defend it. Get the mail? Defend it. Walk down the sidewalk? Defend
it. That moving car? Are you crazy, that’s like 2 tons of metal. Anything else
will get the shit defended out of it though.
As is custom these days, first strike on
target for the opponents at the Grove equals goal. Instead of the requisite
navel gazing and collapse, we just marched down the pitch and got two more.
That, was unexpected. First Song
released Theo with an exquisite through ball that took out four defenders,
Walcott got on the end of it and prodded it into the six, and Van Persie buried
it. Nearly a carbon copy of the first, I’m told.
From an almost identical position to Song,
RVP made an even more impressive pass to Oxlade-Chamberlain, who himself made
an excellent run. The first touch looked a little heavy, but he pulled away
from his marker with a burst of speed, rounded the keeper, and finished into an
empty net, cool as you like. Ed exploded, not with joy at the burgeoning talent
of our latest Southampton acquisition, but with vitriolic bile at his predecessor
for lacking such finishing skills. Poor Theo. He was just about having a
blinder and still we abuse him. Or as we like to say, close your eyes and think
of Bergkamp.
Three-one up and Blackburn reverted to
type, with Givet leaping into a shocking assault on RVP, leaving Marriner
little option but to produce an early shower invitation from the back pocket.
TJ commended Givet’s apparent contrition. I suggested that he was only
apologetic because he was sent off. Had he been given a booking or less his
teammates would have gee’d him up no end for a classic reducer.
It was a disgusting tackle and though it
may raise an eyebrow I still find it odd that a 3 match ban is what he’ll get
when other transgressions that do not threaten the livelihood of the opponent
get far heftier punishment. Even without mention of Suarez, which in retrospect
I admit just cannot be compared, he launched himself two footed, studs first
straight at his opponent and he will serve the same ban Gervinho did for a very
girly slap on Joey Barton, itself a response to a rather violent provocation.
The FA is completely retarded. Luckily Robin spotted the danger and managed to
get the weight off his feet before the contact and avoided lasting damage.
We finished the first half comfortably
ahead. Without Yakubu or Samba this side looked incapable of resuscitating this
fixture and it didn’t take long in the second half to pick up where we left off
in the first. At full strength we were putting them to the sword, with a man
advantage it became a stroll. Walcott again burst down the right and fired a
cross against his defender for a corner. The big freaking meat-sack seemed to
back out of his header, Blackburn Arsenaled their clearance right to Arteta at
the top of the arc, and he duly lashed it into the bottom corner.
Minutes later, Walcott had the bit well
between his teeth and went on a run reminiscent of the one preceding Henry’s
statue pose. Rather than have a pop himself, he found the Ox waiting unmarked
at the back post. He was quickly closed down, but just calmly shifted the ball
onto his right with his first touch and in a congested penalty area slotted
into the near post for another composed finish, like it’s his job.
After a quick boogie with the corner flag
to celebrate, Chamberlain then had a little jinking run of his own, getting to
the byline. He sold the cross to get his defender out of the way, then cut it
back and stood up a delightful chip for Arteta, who came flying in with a
volley that sailed over the bar by a few feet. It would have been quite a
special goal all around, but it was still evidence of the variety and craft our
young Alex has in his locker.
He also has developed an awareness to
switch fields, and did so a few moments later with a long cross-field pass to
Coquelin on the right, who was quietly having a very tidy game indeed. He drew
his defender close then glided past him just far enough to get in a quick low
cross to the near post, where RVP claimed his hat-trick with an emphatic
finish.
At this stage we began a 30 minute goalless
spell and Carissa announced that she was bored. Not such a bad thing. You see,
these kinds of games allow the necessary gravitas to ponder truly epic pieces
of art. Like the movie Roadhouse. The amusement of battering Blackburn drew
comparison with the slaughter of the villain at the end of the movie, where
everyone chuckles as the blood flows and does their best Arsene Wenger. "I didn't see nothin'. You see
anythin'?” Tinker didn’t. A polar bear fell on him too.
All that was left were the changes, which
all took place around substitution-thirty on Wenger’s watch, aka 70 minutes. As
Amy Lawrence pointed out, the way to avoid boos is to swap the Ox for the King,
but in this case I like to think it was so that the young man could rake in
some deserved applause for an excellent display. And like the ridiculous
threatened bin bag protest, no boos came.
It also offered Henry one last appearance
on home turf, provided we don’t extend his loan. He took full advantage, and
despite the 5 goal cushion pestered the visiting defense into a turnover in the
center circle. Van Persie made a clever run and Thierry played it to him out
wide, only to get the ball right back from the captain for one more goal to add
to his tally as a Gunner. Smiles all around, cue the Curtis Mayfield and we
finished with a thumping 7-1 scoreline. Nuff said.
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