Chocolate and Salt

from the factory floor
Barclays Premier League

Arsenal 2-1 Sunderland 16 October 2011

Van Persie [.33, 82]      Larsson [31]

For the third time already this season it’s an early kick-off and our sum point total from such matches is a big zilch.  Bearing this in mind and with the fear that we’d run afoul of the fire marshal after the turn-out from the North London derby 2 weeks back, a small band of us descended upon the lower level of Legends where the football is made. I met Ed on the subway platform at that gruesome hour, relieved that we just might get a goal today if only his bladder would cooperate. Proper gooner that he is, Ed informed me of his late night water consumption and early morning coffee.  Good man. However, no Bendtner for the visitors, meaning no barn door was safe.  But it would be the first return to the Grove for Larsson in the colors of his new club, with RVP’s warnings about the kid’s quality a portent of things to come.

Barely had we settled at the bar and exchanged pleasantries with Jack when Van Persie decided it was time to get started on his second century of goals. Turns out that little pow-wow between the Arsenal players right before kickoff wasn’t about post-match dinner plans afterall, it was about, you know, football. I didn’t even have time to air my feeling that RVP would tear shreds from Gervinho if he didn’t release the ball before he did and the captain stretched the net for number one hundred and one.

A few minutes later and he was at it again---sublime turn and a truly sweet lob [it would be, it was his chocolate leg] that sat up for a day before crashing off the post. He followed that with a fiercely hit swerving shot from his far saltier left foot, which whistled past the post. Robin was right up for it.  The mood was buoyant and with Clint’s late arrival our attentions turned to TJ’s absence. It dawned on us at that point that if you weren’t at the Grove then you’re banned from the Facebook page.

It was all too comfortable, so Szcz decided to go walkabout and we nearly conceded from nothing.  Amazingly, as Ed pointed out we recovered with numbers in our penalty area and the danger was cleared. Moments later an aerial duel between Arteta and Cattermole had the latter clutching his head after the merest of touches from Cesc’s uncle, and Larsson lined up over a very presentable free kick.  Great hit, 1-1. To his credit Larsson, who claimed in the build-up that he’s still a gooner, didn’t really celebrate.

In the past few seasons it’s been hard watching us undone by comedy defending, but there’s little shame in conceding a goal like that. These players clearly don’t know that because we went all nervy and almost conceded a second, but for the now obligatory world class save [owcs] by the Szcz. [TJ, at the grove in his shiny new keeper shirt, “If you don’t save that you’re banned!”] Wojciech later would claim the save wasn’t that good and took the piss out of Cattermole for missing from three yards. Legend.

Speaking of Cattermole, who comically defended his crap tackling this week, our nerves were then eased by Jack Keane’s telling of his namesake’s famous sending off for pole-axing Haangeland, taking off the armband even before the red card was produced.  The save from Szcz had the same effect on the team and we went down the tunnel level at ones.

Second half, cue kicking the shit out of RVP and anyone else approaching Sunderland’s final third. We had a host of free kicks, and the carousel of takers saw Santos [trying to out-do Henry in the how high can I pull up my socks stakes], Arteta, and Walcott audition for greatest threat to row Z.  I think around Walcott’s attempt Ed went to the toilet. Had it been anyone else I’d expect the goal, but you know, Theo from a dead ball isn’t going to end in goal even if it was Austin Powers in the pisser after the thaw.

Still, Ed can claim it, I suppose because it didn’t seem too long before RVP lined up and smashed in a beauty of a free kick. Forgetting last year’s deflected effort versus Birmingham, it was his first dead ball goal since the crossbar smash against Sunderland 4 years ago.* Shirt goes off, armband stays on and the RVP goal tally goes to 102. There were still a few hairy moments to endure but it seemed we made up for scoring too early by scoring too late to cock it up, which for this Arsenal side is quite saying something.

*Amazingly, RVP is the only player to have started in that match and on Sunday, and one of only 5 players from the named squad that day still at the club. It was also the 8^th PL match of the season, and RVP scored a lovely double that day to boot. For more curious similarities, have a look at Wenger’s post match comments from that game.


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